


Of Flowers and Heartbreak

by CosMochi95



Category: ONE OK ROCK
Genre: F/M, Should I do another part?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 12:43:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15143336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosMochi95/pseuds/CosMochi95
Summary: Love is a truly terrifying thing.





	Of Flowers and Heartbreak

  
You stood in the middle of the stage, holding a guitar. Looking back at your band mates, you sent them a small smile and walk closer towards the mic stand. You let out a sigh, that was of course, heard by the people before you and there came the chuckles. You couldn't help but laugh at yourself, wishing to remove the feeling of nervousness. You've been in concerts, in different concerts, various music festivals and multiple awards night.

It certainly isn't the first time you were performing, but every time you walk to the stage, feels like it would be the last.

Ever since that night.

Scanning the sea of faces, your eyes met with familiar brown hues. Your heart immediately clenched at the sight of him, sitting in the front row alongside his band. He raised his hand and sent you a wave. However, you abruptly cast your gaze to the side, refusing to meet his gaze.

You could feel it within you, prickling your insides as you fought the urge to cough.

_You can't._

You reminded yourself.

_Not in front of these people._

You chided yourself.

_Not before his very own eyes._

You are here to perform.

_You won't._

Releasing a deep breath, you send your band mates a signal. The sound of drumsticks filled your ears, and you began strumming your guitar.

Even though you're dying inside, you masked the pain with a smile.

It was in the midst of the song when you felt the surge. Much stronger this time. You accidentally locked eyes with him and he gave you a smile. Your heart hammered inside your chest as the pain started to surface. You began coughing and the song stopped right away. Tears brimmed at the corner of your eyes as you struggled to breathe. You could feel the anxious gaze from everyone in the room.

You slapped a hand over your mouth, suppressing the petals from falling. People immediately rushed to your side, panicking at your state. A hand was placed on your shoulder, and saw that it was him. You muttered a muffled apology, saying that you could no longer sing. Excusing yourself, you bolted out of the stage and run towards the restroom.

Upon locking the door, you immediately collapsed to your knees and started coughing violently. Your vision blurred, tears finally cascaded down your cheeks. The pain was unbearable and excruciating. You were sobbing and heaving with your hands supporting your body. Vibrant petals of rose stained with blood fell to the floor.

It was truly a beautiful mess.

It's been weeks since you've been diagnosed with the Hanahaki Disease.

The same disease that took your sister's life.

She fell in love with her best friend. The person who has always been there for her. The person who made her happy.

The person she loved, who couldn't return her feelings.

You could still remember, it was on your last year of high school. You got home and saw her on her knees, coughing violently while clutching her chest in pain. You saw the petals, you saw her tears.

Unrequited love.

You were beyond furious. Your sister was beautiful, clever and kind. You just couldn't understand why that person won't like her back. You told her to undergo surgery, to have those flowers removed from her lungs. But, she refused to do so no matter how much you begged her.

_**"I don't want my feelings for him to disappear, even if it's killing me inside."** _

_Idiot_.

She continued to bear those feelings of pain and love in her, until she couldn't anymore. One day, you saw her passed out on the floor of her room. A handful of carnation petals in her grasp. There was blood on the corner of her lips yet she was smiling.

She died.

She died because she loved the wrong person.

 _Idiot_.

You made a name for yourself and created a band. You occupied yourself with work. Writing and composing music, doing interviews and guesting, and even magazine spreads and photoshoots. You met different people and experience a lot of things. You were contented with your life.

You never needed love.

You swore you wouldn't be like your sister, yet here you are coughing up petals.

It's been weeks since you got your heart broken by someone you love.

 

* * *

 

 

Disaster came in the form of slender body, brown irises and blonde hair.

You met him three years ago at a music festival. You lost your way and can't contact your band. You ended up wandering in the venue. That's when a crowd of fans spotted you. You started panicking as they run towards you. A hand curled up on your wrist, dragging you away from the fans. By the time you two stopped running, you were already out of breath and almost dropped to your knees.

You successfully escaped from your rabid fans. You practically breathed a sigh of relief, thanking the man beside you.

You learned that he was the leader and guitarist of his band, One OK Rock.

Yamashita Toru was his name.

That, was the first time you felt the pounding of your heart.

You shared stories at your way to the backstage. Someone called his name and you saw three guys jogging towards the two of you. His band mates were nice and funny, you instantly became friends with the vocalist of his band, Taka. He was funny and cute at the same time.

You don't believe in fate, but after the music festival you've been meeting One OK Rock in different occasions.

May it be concerts or photo shoots. You hadn't actually realize that they were famous. Sure you have heard their band's name somewhere but you weren't really curious because, you were busy yourself and you have your own band as well.

Your friendship with the band grew and flourished. You even collaborated with each other and it was a lot of fun. Tomoya's laugh was contagious and funny at the same time. Ryota, you swore his smile could cure diseases. Taka has an extremely beautiful voice. The band itself was amazing. They were silly but, adorable.

You found yourself hanging out with the guys more. You would consult them whenever you come up with a new song and vice versa. One OK Rock became close to you. They even call you to join them for jamming session or Instagram live. Taka, Tomoya and Ryota were like brothers to you. But, not Toru.

He'll always be something more. Something _special_.

And so, you got attracted to him.

You liked everything about him. The way he speaks. The way he plays the guitar. The way he would make faces. The way his brows would furrowed when composing a new song. The way his face would scrunch up whenever the others would do something idiotic. The way he would glare at people whenever he's mad. The way he would pucker his lips whenever he got bored. The way he would wrap his arms around you whenever you came to visit. The way his eyes would reflect the light.

The way he smiles.

You mustered up your courage and decided to tell him how you feel.

It was after their concert, you were waiting in the backstage, a smile on your face. You saw his band mates, entering after one another. Tomoya and Ryota ruffled your hair, as you did your secret handshake. You sent Taka a playful punch in the shoulder for pinching your cheeks while he was passing by.

"Good luck," he said, waving at you over his shoulder.

"W-what?" you asked, eyes filled with confusion.

"We all know what you're about to do," Ryota answered, placing his elbow above Taka's shoulder who nodded in return.

Tomoya laughs, "It's so obvious, (Name)."

"We've seen the way you look at him," Taka added, turning to look at Tomoya and Ryota. "Toru-san remains oblivious, though."

"He's so clueless."

"I agree. He's slow-witted when it comes to this," Ryota pointed to his heart and the three busted out laughing.

"D-don't you have to go to your room?" you stuttered.

"Ah, he's here!" Tomoya exclaimed.

"Then, let's leave them." Ryota quipped.

"Let's do that," Taka smiled, sending you a thumbs up. "I'm rooting for you, (Name)."

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" the blonde says, walking to your side.

The three shrugged their shoulders, and began walking away. Before entering their room, Taka turned to you and send you a mischievous wink making your face flush. Of course, that didn't go unnoticed by the leader.

"O-oi, what was that about?" Toru called out, pointing a finger at Taka who immediately closed the door behind him. "What's wrong with him?"

You shrug, sending him an innocent smile, "I have no idea."

"Ah, (Name). I received your message," Toru says, his brows rose. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes, but we could do that later," His eyes showed confusion and you scrunched your face, waving a hand in front your face. "You reek, Toru-san."

"Hey!" he retorted, feigning offense.

"Just kidding. Go, I'll wait for you outside."

"Okay, I'll be quick."

\---

Your fingers won't stop shaking and your heart was pounding loudly against your chest. You couldn't stop smiling like an idiot. For the first time in your life, you'll be confessing to someone.

"Hey," Toru greeted, sitting next to you in the bench.

"Hey," you smiled back.

"So, what is this thing you wanted to talk about?" He wriggled his brows, sounding excited.

You shifted in your seat and took a deep breath. You lifted your eyes to meet his gaze and your heart raced faster, blood rushing up to your cheeks. You clenched your eyes, clasping your fingers together.

"Okay, this looks like a very serious thing," Toru chuckled, turning his head to the side and releasing a breath. "I suddenly feel nervous."

"Toru-san, I-I... I'm in love with you..."

On cue, the male started choking on his spit. It took him seconds to recover. His head snapped towards you, eyes wide in surprise.

"W-what?" he repeated in bafflement, "Y-you're in love with me?"

He let out a breath, running his hands through his hair. He bite his lips, and laced his fingers together. You didn't reply because you were sure he heard you enough. You started feeling uneasy at the silence that came between the of you.

Was it supposed to be like this?

You suddenly regretted your decision.

You wanted to leave.

And pretend this didn't happen.

Or, the ground could've just swallow you whole.

It was a bad idea, after all.

"(Name),"

Toru stood from his seat, taking your hands in his as he slowly lifted you to your feet. He stared directly at your eyes, his aura was now filled with seriousness.

The world stopped spinning at that moment. You can't hear anything. Have you gone deaf? You can't feel anything. Have you gone numb? You don't know. It was as if your whole world started crumbling down as the words came from his mouth.

"I'm sorry... But, I only see you as my sister."

That happened weeks ago, but those words got stuck into your head. Like a broken record. You remember taking back your words. You remember laughing at him and saying that it was only just a joke, and that he shouldn't be taking things too seriously. You remember telling him how his band mates would throw a laughing fit if they saw the scene. You remember him flicking your forehead. You remember him laughing and bidding goodnight. You remember watching as his back slowly disappear from your line of sight.

You remember the tears.

You remember the excruciating pain.

You remember coughing up the first petal that night.

_**That's when you truly realized how terrifying the thing called love is.** _

 


End file.
